Why Surfing Is So Great

Surfing is spiritually fulfilling and physically gratifying..yaddy yaddy bullshit.

But when you look at life and stuff....let’s take sex for example. It feels good, right? Well, it kinda has to, for the sake of civilization. If sex felt like getting your eye poked everytime, then people would stop boning down and humans will die off because it just wouldn’t be worth it. So, it feels good for a reason.

Let’s take another example, eating. Eating is delicious and yummy licious (lord, I’m high) and stuff, right? But eating has to be good and rewarding because it serves a biological need and fulfills a biological instinct. In this case, the biological instinct happens to be “shit, I think I wanna live.” So eating is not only yummyrificus, it’s also necessary.

But now you have surfing. What the fuck does surfing do, that deals with human survival? Millions of people never surf and they will never know what it’s like and their lawns will be green and their lives fulfilled, right? But you have to ask yourself, “how the fuck did the powers that be decide to make ‘standing on a plank in the the middle of the fucking ocean’ feel so fucking great?” Ggggggggooood lord it feels GRRRRReat!

And you know, Alexa, you learn how to surf, I tell you. Because it’s fucking amazing and soulful and humbling. It’s fucking great, it’s a rush, and (let’s admit) it’s fucking cool as shit. How many people get to say it? Whenever I’m in need of a pick-me-up, all I have to do is close my eyes and think about my first wave....

I had a pretty rough, busy Friday at work. I kinda, sorta was about to “shoot down the line” for the first time. Well, I drove up to Topanga after work, and I was out on my board and the water was as still as night. I sat on my board and witnessed the sun setting over the mountains. I’m on a fucking board in the middle of the ocean with the golden, California sun nestling between the mountain peaks! I had a conversation with the ocean. It was gouda but I said, “Hey. Thank you Pacific Ocean for letting me be here. I really needed you today and you feel real good to me and my soul. You know, I’ve been sitting here for 45 minutes now and haven’t been able to catch a wave (at all). So, I mean, hey, like, if you want...you know, maybe you can throw me a bone. If you would be so kind, could you just give me one wave and I swear I’ll paddle hard and deep. I swear I’ll try real hard and keep my balance. But I mean, hey, fuck it, if you can’t or don’t want to, it’s all good, I’m just grateful to be here. For real....thanks for just letting me bask in your wonder and might.” I waited 5 minutes, a wave came. Only about waist high, but I paddled. I got on it and shot down the line and all I could think about was that flash of time; what with the water behind me, rumbling like a bee....leaving the chaos of the world behind...while ahead of me, you just hear this hissing sound....tsssst tssssssst tssssssst psssssssttttt.....like mosquitos dancing along the surface of a pond. That is what tranquility sounds like. Like a fucking mosquito.